


Help

by Anonymous



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Angst, Batfamily (DCU), Dick gets help, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Suicide, References to Depression, Therapy, There will be a happy ending gd it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Dick can't sleep because of memories of past trauma, so he leaves Bludhaven and temporarily moves in with Clark. Clark helps Dick get professional help and keeps unwanted visitor (Bruce) away. Meanwhile, back in Gotham, the Batfam wants to know what's going on. Bruce does not understand boundaries, Jason is surprisingly helpful, and Tim goes into research/stalking mode. Damian just wants his big brother back.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Clark Kent, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 142
Collections: Anonymous





	Help

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING - Mentions of suicide and depression
> 
> This fic is sort of a form of therapy for me. I wrote it a few months ago when the pandemic started, because I wasn't able to sleep due to thinking about past suicidal thoughts. I've since gotten better, but I'm now on meds that are triggering depression, and so I touched up the first chapter of this fic a bit to help cope. I'm posting it in case this helps someone else in a similar dark space. So, uh, yeah. Enjoy, I guess?

Dick knocked firmly on the apartment door. His knuckles were white from gripping his duffle bag strap, and he could feel his fingernails digging into his palm. Clark should be home. It was late on a work night, and Clark didn’t stay up too late patrolling on work nights, unless something big was going down. God, Dick hoped Clark was home. He wasn’t sure who else he’d go to. Barry, maybe? But he had a family, and he’d probably tell Wally, and Dick _really_ didn’t want his best friend knowing. Wally had enough going wrong in his life, and then he’d probably tell Donna, and she would –

The door opened. Clark blinked owlishly at him, clearly having just woken up. His glasses were askew, and he had a minor case of bedhead. “Dick?”

Dick smiled brightly and adjusted his grip on the duffle bag. “Hey, Clark. Do you mind if, um, stay with you for a few days?”

Clark’s eyes darted from the bag in Dick’s hands and back to Dick’s face. He blinked away some of the drowsiness and stepped back. “Of course. Come on in. Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks.”

Dick let Clark usher him to the couch, and he politely accepted the offer of coffee. “You have sugar, right?”

Clark laughed. “Of course.”

A few minutes later, they were both situated on the couch, coffees in hand. Dick had found a throw blanket and was curled around his coffee mug, back to the armrest, stirring in copious amounts of sugar. Clark was slowly nursing his steaming cup – no sugar, no milk, the madman – and giving his best “concerned uncle” face that Dick had seen more as a kid than as an adult.

Dick was the first to break the silence. “I need a place to lay low for a couple days until I can get my own apartment.”

Clark admirably didn’t demand answers, like Bruce would definitely be doing at this point. “You can stay here as long as you need to be in Metropolis.”

There was an unspoken question there, but Dick knew that Clark would be content staying in the dark. Dick still squirmed in his seat. “Bruce probably doesn’t know I’m here yet, but you might be getting a call from him soon.”

“I can handle Bruce.”

“Thanks.”

They sat in silence. Dick stared into his cup as he waited for the coffee to cool. Eventually, he said, his eyes not moving from his drink, “I’m looking for a good psychiatrist. Do you know anyone?”

There was a pause. “For Dick Grayson?” Clark asked.

“Yeah.” Dick took a tentative sip and grimaced when it burned.

“It would help to know a specialty area.”

Dick closed his eyes and silently debated telling him. He could let it drop. Not say anything. Clark would find someone great either way. He had a lot of connections in Metropolis. But it would be better to find someone who specialized in something close to what Dick was going through. In for a penny, in for a pound.

Dick sighed and opened his eyes, meeting Clark’s gaze. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“I promise,” Clark said firmly. “And I haven’t let Bruce plant any bugs in here, so anything you say are for our ears only.”

Dick took a deep breath in, counted to five, and let it out, just like Alfred had taught him. He fixed his eyes on the wall behind Clark’s shoulder. “A few years ago – y’know, after Jason died and before Tim came-” The words were bitter and stiff in his throat, but he refused to let them choke him. “- I almost killed myself. A few times. On purpose.”

Clark visibly stiffened, but Dick continued, his eyes focused on the wall. “I never attempted it, but I had a method planned out.” His eyes began to burn. “I got help, though. Not in Gotham, of course. Online. I got better. I’ve _been_ better. But – but it’s been quieter lately. Everyone’s settled in. Damian and Bruce are getting along. Hell, Jay and Tim are doing _movie nights_. So, things are going well. But I – that night, when I first almost … did it – my mind keeps going back to that night.”

His vision blurred. He set his coffee down to frantically rub at his eyes. Crying wasn’t a weakness – at least in civilian clothes – but it was so _stupid_. Clark shifted closer and maneuvered Dick against his chest, his arm wrapped protectively around Dick’s shoulders. 

“It was so long ago,” Dick sobbed into Clark’s t-shirt. “I thought I was over it. But I can’t – I can’t _sleep_ , Clark. I can’t stop – can’t stop _th-thinking_ a-about th-that night. It h-hurts.”

“It’s going to be okay, Dick,” Clark soothed, rubbing Dick’s back gently. “We’ll get you some help. You’re going to be alright.”

Dick wasn’t sure how long it took him to calm down. Clark’s shirt was wet from tears by the time Dick pulled away. His nose was stuffy, and his eyes hurt from crying. He probably looked pathetic.

“Be right back, buddy,” Clark said, and in a whiz of motion, he was back, tissues in hand. “Here you go.”

“Th-thanks,” Dick stammered. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose. Clark patiently waited, his arm resting on the back of the couch behind Dick. Eventually, Dick looked up and said, “No knows, Clark. I don’t want them to. It’ll hurt them too much. Bruce especially. He deals with enough self-hatred.”

“They won’t hear anything from me,” Clark promised. “You know how stubborn I can be.”

Dick huffed a weak laugh. “Yeah. Drives Bruce nuts, getting a taste of his own medicine, the hypocrite.”

“I know someone who should be a good fit,” Clark said. “I’ll call her in a few hours, to see if she can fit you in today. She owes me a favor. If you want someone Bruce can’t track, though, I might know an alien off-planet with training.”

“Bruce’ll find them, either way.” Dick shrugged. “I’m fine with him knowing that I’m seeing someone. I just don’t want him to know why. Thanks, Clark.”

Clark ruffled Dick’s hair. “Anytime, kiddo.”

Dick wrinkled his nose. “I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Don’t go making me feel old,” Clark said, grinning. “C’mon, I’ll make breakfast.”

+++

An hour later, Dick was asleep in Clark’s guest room, and Clark was cleaning up the kitchen. Clark had had to stay by Dick’s side to keep the demons away until Dick was able to fall asleep. It reminded him of when Dick had been little and having nightmares of his parents falling. Back then, Bruce would sometimes let Dick stay over at Clark’s, just to get him out of Gotham for a few days. Clark hadn’t known a lot about kids, but he’d learned that talking in a quiet tone was enough to sooth Dick back to sleep. It was nice to know that still worked.

Clark’s heart hurt as he thought about an older Dick, suffering from the death of his brother and dealing with Bruce’s grief, trying to hold the world on his shoulders. They’d almost lost him, and they hadn’t known. Bruce would’ve lost another son. Clark didn’t want to think of a world without Dick’s grin.

He placed the final cleaned dish on the drying wrack and pulled out his phone. Ignoring the six missed calls, he scrolled through his contacts and then it the call symbol.

_“Good morning, Clark.”_

“Hey, Fran. I’m wondering if you could do me a favor.” Clark leaned against the kitchen counter, smiling. He’d done a story on her former boss, and they’d become friends, meeting for coffee every few months. She was one of the nicest people he’d ever met, so he knew he could trust her with Dick.

_“What’s up?”_

“I have a…friend that’s dealing with some stuff. I’m wondering if you could help him.”

_“Give me a moment.”_ He heard typing on the other end. _“I could make time around three this afternoon. I’m assuming it’s urgent?”_

“I wouldn’t have called you if it weren’t. He’s from Gotham.”

_“Ah.”_

“He’ll probably make you sign an NDA too.”

Fran laughed. _“You make the strangest friends, Clark. Bring him in at three.”_

“Thank you,” Clark said sincerely. “I really appreciate it.”

_“No problem. I’ll see you later.”_

“Bye.” He hung up.

With a sign, he looked at his missed calls, all from Bruce. Clark took a moment to muster up the resolve to deal with an overprotective and overbearing Batman. Bruce picked up on the first ring. _“Why is Dick in your apartment and not his own?”_

Clark rolled his eyes. “Hello to you too. How I am doing? Great. Thanks for asking. How’re you doing?”

_“Clark.”_

“Dick will be staying with me for a few weeks,” Clark told him firmly. Like hell was he letting Dick get a lonely apartment while he was dealing with so much. And Bruce would be less likely to descend on him at Clark’s apartment. “He’s not injured. That’s all you need to know.”

_“Why is he in Metropolis?”_ Bruce demanded, his voice starting to fall into his Batman growl.

“He’ll tell you if he wants you to know.”

_“Bludhaven needs him. He-”_

“Bruce,” Clark snapped. “If you manage to guilt trip him into going back before he actually wants to, I will personally come to Gotham to give you _a piece of my mind_.”

Bruce was silent for a long moment. _“He hasn’t spoken to any of us in a week, not even Damian. Then yesterday he disappears off to Metropolis without telling anyone. Clark, I need to know what is happening.”_

Clark sighed and rubbed his forehead. He had to remind himself that Bruce loved Dick dearly and was just crap at expressing it in a healthy way. And having boundaries. Bruce was _terrible_ at boundaries. “Look, Bruce, Dick is not in any danger. He’ll be staying with me for a few weeks. This is about Dick Grayson stuff, not Bludhaven stuff. He’ll talk to you when he wants to.”

_“Not good enough,”_ Bruce growled.

“Too bad. He’s an adult and can make his own decisions. Now, I’ve got to go to work. Don’t even think about coming here.”

_“You don’t work until-”_

Clark hung up before Bruce could say anything else. Sometime that was the best way to deal with Bruce when he’s a being a bit too…Bruce.

+++

“What brings you in today?”

Clark’s psychiatrist friend was friendly and professional. Fran had sighed the NDA without complaint and then ushered Dick into her office. He’d kept his bright smile on while they’d exchanged pleasantries, but now that she’d asked the pivotal question, Dick chickened out. He’d never met with someone face-to-face like this before, and it was terrifying to even look her in the eye. He stared at is knees instead, the signature Grayson-smile melting away.

“I-” His mouth was dry. He swallowed.

“Dick,” Fran said calmly. “Take your time.”

He looked up to meet her kind eyes and tried again. “I can’t sleep, because I keep thinking about the time when I was suicidal.”

Before Fran could say anything, the rest of the story – abridged of any Bat business – spilled out of him, about Jason and Tim’s fights, the troubling time that Dick had to be both a father and a brother to Damian, Bruce’s emotional constipation, spending day after day surrounded by crime and misery in Bludhaven.

He had tears in his eyes when he finished.

“Can you-” Dick took a deep breath. His voice was hoarse from all the talking. “I just want to sleep at night again. Can you help me?”

Fran smiled warmly. “You’ve come to the right place.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I have the next chapter planned out in my head, but I only touch this fic when I'm already in a crappy mind-space or when I'm on top of the world and it's hard to be triggered. So, updates may be slow. But next chapter, batfam pops up.


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